And the boy who loves you the wrong way is filthy.
And the boy who loves you the wrong way keeps weakening.
You thought if you handed over your body
he’d do something interesting. -Richard Siken (via five—a—day)

Pour love into everything. Pour love into your interactions with strangers. Pour love into books. Pour love into your words. Pour love into every beautiful thing you see. Most importantly- pour love into yourself. Stroke your own cheeks. Hold your own hand. Take long showers. Go on long walks. Fill every aspect of your life with so much love that there’s not enough space for the sadness to take over. The way to get through life is to make sure that there’s always more love than there is any other emotion. Be filled with love even when life is cruel. Set yourself on fire with love; nurture that fire and never let it burn out.

I am trying to process such heavy, heavy things at the moment

I am very disappointed and confused by a lot of things that hurt more than I can put into words.

On the plus side my dad’s here (from tonight until Sunday). He is the light and love in my life, and it’s nice to just be around him.

"Ideally, what should be said to every child, repeatedly, throughout his or her school life is something like this: ‘You are in the process of being indoctrinated. We have not yet evolved a system of education that is not a system of indoctrination. We are sorry, but it is the best we can do. What you are being taught here is an amalgam of current prejudice and the choices of this particular culture. The slightest look at history will show how impermanent these must be. You are being taught by people who have been able to accommodate themselves to a regime of thought laid down by their predecessors. It is a self-perpetuating system. Those of you who are more robust and individual than others will be encouraged to leave and find ways of educating yourself — educating your own judgements. Those that stay must remember, always, and all the time, that they are being moulded and patterned to fit into the narrow and particular needs of this particular society."
Doris Lessing, The Golden Notebook

My school gives us from 3-6 hours additional math homework a day (which is heavily monitored online to ensure not even one answer can be left out or incorrect)

To be done on top of all other homework, studying, tests, assignments and projects (which is a lot)

We finish school past 5 o’clock everyday because of math classes, basically get home, do homework, try find time to eat and get maybe 5 hours of sleep, if we’re lucky

I’m watching all the people in my class burn out. I have never seen so many people get sick so quickly. Every lesson kids are getting screamed at because they’re sleeping in class. There are ear and chest infections spreading like wildfire. Everyone has permanent bags around their eyes. People are breaking down a lot- crying, getting panic attacks, leaving school early. It’s really horrible to see what my school is doing to 40-odd kids.

I have felt stressed, sick and completely overwhelmed for almost 2 years now, so it’s easy enough to identify that that’s exactly what everyone else is feeling at the moment. I have so little faith and respect left for the entire education system, man. I am literally witnessing how sick it is making people. People are scared to complain because my coke head of a principal seems to only give more homework each time somebody dares to say something. People are headed for complete breakdowns. It is scary.