someone needs to fix me.
normal people don’t sit in their rooms alone at night with the lights off rocking back and forth and throwing up and crying. i think i am already in the process of dying. i don’t know what else could hurt this much. 

and fuck it, i sound like i’m attention-seeking again. everything i say sounds like that. i don’t know why i say anything anymore. it doesn’t come out sounding right. i don’t blame people for disliking me/not believing me. there’s no reason anyone should feel sympathetic towards me. i’m ever bit as shitty as people could possibly imagine me to be. the boy i thought was my best friend has been phoning my other closest friends this week bitching about how vain and self-obsessed i am. i hate myself. i don’t understand people’s assumptions.

i am so sick.

i am so so sick.

i don’t know what i’m saying.